Meta is over. I say it
with a thrill, but at the same time with a sad smile touching my lips. I am so
grateful to it, and all the same so sad it is over. I am not saying bye to you,
my readers, as my journey indeed continues. Literally: Continuity is there for
me. There will be more yummy foods, more reports… There still will be
progressing from one level to another…
But it is sad to say
bye to something that changed your life so much. Transformed me and the way I
think, the way I do things, the way I think about myrself, about exercise,
about healthy lifestyle… For me this was not simply the way towards a small
waist – alas, you are witnesses, I never wanted (or needed either) to lose more
than 7-10 cm in my waist. It was also not the way towards healthy weight – I was
in the range of what is considered healthy for my age and height when I started
(well at the edge of it). So, I am fully aware, you might think it all has been
easier for me than for many of the older and bigger girls out there. But here
comes the truth: it is hard for every single one of us, equally. Because we are
not just fighting our weight, getting better looks, we are fighting the lazy
and the giving-up side of ourselves – please forgive my rough language – but
the looser side of us. Because losing comes from giving up. Losing comes from
not bringing something to the end. From not finishing what you start. From
cheating – not someone else – but yourself. The hardest job for any of us who
are embarking onto this journey for self-improvement – regardless of what
method you use and how you exercise – is to say a big fat “NO” to our laziness,
set a goal and fight every single day.
Meta didn’t just give
me the lean body I love (I have a ‘boy-ish’ complexion, so to be honest, Meta
was great for me). Meta didn’t just help me lose the weight I gained leading a sedentary
life and overeating… It gave me a habit of working out, of enjoying it, of
knowing you are doing it for yourself. It gave me the chance to feel good –
physically and psychologically. But still – the most important – it gave me
strength. I know – NOW I know! – I do have the backbone. When I do set my mind
onto something – I WILL do it. Now I know it.
Even though I had much
less inches and weight to lose, don’t underestimate the effort it took and
still takes me to exercise!!! Even though I never was overweight, I was not
healthy and I am essentially a very lazy person. I had to fight my laziness every
day. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. And laziness is a funny thing: it finds “reasonable” arguments
for you NOT to go on. Like “I don’t have time” or “I am not feeling well” (when
you only started feeling unwell when you thought so) or “Nothing would happen if
I don’t work out in the morning” (and you end up never finding time to work out
later in the day) or “It is a whole hour! I can’t spare so much time!” –
whereas the correct thinking would be “This is only half an hour and another
half an hour – so little!”
I had a tough time
learning how to trick the lazy side of me – or make a deal with it. I would
give myself little gifts: a little chocolate, or a new nail polish, or little
earrings if I had a good workout. I learnt how to count reps to trick myself –
instead of counting from 1 to 40, I would count from 1 to 10 four times, or
even better – I would count “1-1-1-1, 2-2-2-2 … 10-10-10-10” (something my best
friend taught me) – so in the end it is almost like doing only 10 reps… well 10
reps 4 times each :))))) I argued with myself so many times during DC: my
laziness would say “You don’t have time, you have a lot to do”, and my rational
and critical self would reply “Ha-ha, right! You will procrastinate anyways for
an hour, you might as well work out – it is at least useful!” Oh, so many-many countless
days during DC the lazy-me would think
– OK, only 15 minutes,
I am not feeling that well.
But with time the
backbone-me learnt to counter this thinking when it is 15 minutes into DC.
– C’mon, if you did 15
minutes, you might as well do 20.
– OK, - the laziness
would say. – 20 minutes it is.
And after some time:
– Hey, we did 20
minutes!
But the backbone-me
would go:
–What is 20 minutes?!
You did SO much already, you might as well do 5 more minutes – it’s nothing
compared to 20!!!
Around the time the
“homestretch” (around minute 24) of DC backbone makes the final strike:
–C’mon! You reached
the homestretch, as Tracy calls it. You can’t give up NOW!!!!
At the end – when
Tracy says “You made it to the end, I am so proud of you!”, my little lazy ass
starts crying like a little girl saying “I was so so so wrong! Of course we
could do it!” And the backbone just taps the little lazy girl on her shoulder
and says “There, there!” :)
This kind of drama
went on in my head almost every other day. Honestly. And if you think it is
easy, you are wrong.
So, all in all, it has
been a difficult journey. And it still continues. I hope you all will find
strength to start a journey for self improvement! And it doesn’t have to be TAM
:) This is not what I mean. Find something you always wanted to do, but had
problems doing. And DO it. :) Get the strength for it, succeed in it!
Overcoming your own weaknesses and imperfections – this is what makes one
strong.
 |
| I CAN do it! Any bets? :) |
Believe in yourself, people, challenge yourself and just go for it! Let yourself be proud of what you accomplish!
