Day 68 of Metamorphosis!!! WOW!

Holly-molly! Day 68???!!! Already!!!??? I'm on disk 3 and I just have two new MS workouts left in Meta... Wait... WHAT??? I still can't believe it...

So anyway, today was the day like many others. I was tired, couldn't get up at 6 am, woke up around 8. By the time I did my DC, had a shower, ate my yummy breakfast, got ready - it was already 11... So, I was in office only by midday, and then a friend dropped by my office for coffee... And you know how it goes... So started work much later than I hoped for... But - when my colleague walked into the office, she stopped and asked "Wait, did you lose more weight?" And no, I did not, but I guess I toned more, and she said that I look so much more toned and slimmer. 

Then I went to salsa – finally after not being there for about a month. And I was really shocked and surprised. Because Wally (our trainer) started saying from the minute I walked in “Wow, Liuba, you are so skinny!” And then everyone was talking at the same time on the same topic... And several of my friends who came in – even those who have not heard this conversation with Wally – were saying that I lost weight. So, the secret is to be away for a long time, and then people are surprised. :) But hey – I don’t even notice if I am smaller than I used to be or not anymore. I simply get used to being how I am at the moment, and then I stop being surprised… Ah, that all made my day today.

And you know, the best feeling throughout all those conversations, remarks and questions (i.e. “How did you DO it??”) was that I actually achieved it. Yes, it is great I actually weigh less now and I love the feel of my body when I am stretching in bed in the morning – it feels lean, strong, small, and simultaneously soft and muscular. But the best thing about people noticing is that I set the goal 3 months ago (holly molly! Has it been already 3 months??!!), I told people about it and I stubbornly went forth to achieve it. I didn’t give up on the way – not once. I did have bumps on the way (I still do), I do overeat sometimes, I am lazy sometimes and it is hard to start the workout, I procrastinate (something that I have to deal with seriously from now on), I sometimes don’t have time even for 30 minutes cardio, but I put in as much as I can – even if it is just 10 minutes… I did it all myself! I am strong enough and disciplined enough for that! This gives an amazing feeling. Now I have to be just as strong and disciplined in writing my PhD...

As the workouts go, I am definitely not in love with level 7. I heard I’m not the only one… It is hard and… well just hard. Super hard. It has lots of exercises in plunk-push-up position – and I do not like those. I feel like my arms are still not strong enough to hold me in plunk position… If it is not plunks, then it is a lot about balance. Try to balance on left knee and right elbow, while doing some stuff with right leg and left arm… Honestly, this almost feels like some kind of torture! I feel it in my ass, and my abs, and my thighs… I feel it everywhere. I actually am sore from time to time during this level. And feel like I need more sleep. But anyway, as soon as I could do all the reps, I added the ankle weights. And boy that took me back to 25-30 reps again (instead of 40…) Wow.

On the bright side, I had a bit of a breakthrough with DC I think. Not that I like it more than before. No. I am of course used to it by now and my body knows it well. But these past two weeks I tried to really make myself perform. And well surprise surprise… It was not that hard actually… You know, I am naturally a performer I think. I like to be cute and shiny on stage. I used to for ages – ever since I got over my childhood shyness I guess (and having one pretty embarrassing stage appearance, which I will never forget, but which probably changed me and challenged the performer in me), I have loved stage. I wish I could sing… But I tried acting, poetry reading, now dancing… When I was performing salsa last year, my trainers asked other more experienced and advanced dancers to come and look at me… They used to stop us (we were performing in a team of 3 couples) and tell the others “Liuba is outshining you all, you have to start performing, and not just going through the dance routine desperately trying to remember the steps”. And thinking about it, I was constantly wondering why was it so hard to perform DC for me?.. Well – duh! Cos there is no audience! No one to smile and flirt with, but then we did train dancing in empty rooms too. So I started imagining there IS an audience in front of me, started smiling and flirting… For a laugh sometimes I would put my little stuffed animals in front and do the DC “for them” :) Or turn on the camera and film my "performance" (no, not a soul is going to see it...)… This changed my DC completely. And I know now what the difference is between performing and just doing the DC. After each time I actually performed, I was sweating like CRAZY. Really – I don’t even know how to explain it. I drank half a litre of water after that in one go and was feeling like I perhaps ran a marathon, but definitely not a half hour workout… But the most surprising thing – I tend to check my heart rate from time to time… Throughout the performing workout my average was 150-158!!! Compare it to 120-130 of when I’m just doing it on a moderate speed. I am not ever sure it is actually healthy to have such a high heart rate… But the difference is obvious. After such a workout, I take some protein shake – cause I feel like I might start shaking from exhaustion. And only then proceed to MS.

So, all in all, I loved my workouts and am getting closer to level 8!!! I’m amazed! And only one thing pressing and stressing me and making me down – is my PhD, which is not going so well. But I still hope I will find strength – also from my workout and healthy lifestyle successes – to be more disciplined and work more.